a silly confession

you know the nostalgia evoked by listening to old songs. apparently, rereading books you read a long time ago brings about not just an upsurge of nostalgia but surprisingly vivid memories as well. i reread the dragonlance 'chronicles' and 'legends' trilogies last year and recently got a copy of ken grimwood's 'replay' to replace my lost copy and was rereading a large part of it just a few weeks back. i first read these books when i was in pri 5 and 6. when i was rereading them, i kept getting distracted by memories of the past that just came unbidden. i could recall rushing home from school to read (and skipping dinner so i'd have more time), trying to sneak in 15min or so of reading time in the morning before going to school trying to read on bus journeys, in between lessons in school, the difficulties i had reading then (had to reread some sentences 2 or 3X), the words, phrases or descriptions that i thought were so brilliant i would copy them out in my diary and memorise them, and the ideas and feelings that got me so excited. and there were many other memories not related to reading as well. it was a little strange. i had not thought about my primary school days for such a long time, am so far removed from that self ( and given the vividness of the memories) that i felt as if i was being given a glimpse into the life of another person. at the same time, i was moved by the impressionability of youth and felt deeply affectionate towards this younger self as if i were regarding a favourite niece. yes, it's a little embarrassing but i'm actually quite capable of getting sentimental about myself!

anyway, just got my copy of ivan goncharov's 'oblomov' and am finally reading it. oblomov is a total washout, it's funny to be reading this as i'm about to start my 30's and to have read 'notes from the underground' where the protaganist, as we all know, is a total screw up at the start of my 20's. hmmm...